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This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).In addition, try to have at least one special evening a week when you get a baby-sitter when you can do some new things together. The biggest prize of a successful marriage is closeness and intimacy – which allow a couple to accept and support one another on a deep level.Play chess, backgammon, poker, skat, tetrinet and many other games. Groups, boards, photovoting and much more is an extensive online community with thousands of men and women you can get to know.Create your personal homepage with a free blog, guestbook, photos and much more.Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.
Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.
My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.
AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.
ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.
Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.
Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.